In 2 months time I will have been at my current job for a year. Now, while this is not a major 'wow' accomplishment for me... I worked at GameStop part-time for over four years straight... it's impressive in the fact that I have not yet gone homicidal or suicidal. Both are looking tempting at this point. The level of hatred I have for the job is surpassed only by the loathing I feel towards the man who runs it. And to a lesser degree my growing hatred of the people that I have to deal with as clients. The pity and empathy that I once held is bleeding away into disdain and scorn. Where I once picked up my phone with an air of helpfulness, I now only feel anger and bitterness for the people causing me only frustration, often because they are, themselves, too damn lazy to get off their asses and work. I have no more empathy in me for people younger than I who seek to claim free handouts because they feel 'depressed'. Try my job.

Yet, far be it from me to complain. As I have been reminded oh-so-kindly, at least I HAVE a job. In a time when the market is going to hell and the person in office is moving towards things that will make it worse, having a job of any kind should be considered a blessing worth clinging to. And I do cling to it. But it is with a degree of hatred and self-disgust that I do. The only reason... ONLY reason I do is that I know I have bills to pay and I stubbornly refuse to consider moving back to my home town, as much as mother would like me to. I have no interest in living there again, thank you.

But as I sit here at my desk, body feeling drained and spirit bleak, I can only wonder if I am actually dead and this place I reside is actually Hell. And, if so, I wonder what the hell I did to end up here.

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People I worship/stalk/despair-because-of:









Clubs!